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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25531720">Lucifer - Part One</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy/pseuds/AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy'>AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Superboys [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DCU, DCU (Comics), Lucifer (TV), Smallville, Superboy (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angels, BDSM, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bondage, Daddy Kink, Demons, Gay Sex, Heaven &amp; Hell, M/M, Masochism, Multi, Sadism, Superheroes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:28:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,389</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25531720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy/pseuds/AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer lives his life amidst the growing Kryptonian population in LA and focuses on his work. Little does he realize Marcus Pierce, AKA Cain, will be a major part of his life from now on. Old friends, family and flames make their appearances and it isn't long before Lucifer has his hands full.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar/Marcus Pierce, Lucifer Morningstar/Azerion Morningstar, Lucifer Morningstar/Marcus Pierce, Marcus Pierce/Azerion Morningstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Superboys [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1369741</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 'Til Death Do Us Part</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is canon-divergent starting with the episode entitled "Till Death Do Us Part" in season three. This is part of the <i>Superboys</i> series and starts at the same time as <i>Superboys - Part Three</i>.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lucifer tries to make good on his promise to Cain as they get a new murder case to solve.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Spoilers for <i>Lucifer</i> Season 3 Episode 13.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <i>I will find a way to end your infinite misery if it's the last thing I do.</i>
</p><p>Those words are beginning to bite Lucifer in the ass. He's tried everything – evisceration, cremation, drowning, drowning in ignited oil, pulled apart by machinery, poison, cell phone radiation and endless Parcheesi. None of it works. Lucifer has had to control his raging boners working with the first murderer, both during and apart from the attempts at murder Cain so greatly desires. He's beginning to think nothing will work as long as Cain has the mark of his curse. </p><p>Of course the alternative has occurred to Lucifer. If he can't kill him, he can find ways to entertain the man for all of eternity. Something to end his misery. And unlike anyone else the man knows, Lucifer will actually be around for eternity. </p><p>It's also occurred to Lucifer that the man is afraid of making personal connections. He sees it with Chloe and Dan and anyone at the precinct. He knows the Sinnerman doesn't truly care for the people he grants favors to. No point in mixing work and play when the man hardly plays at all. </p><p>That's the ticket! Cain needs an old fashioned bacchanal, an orgy of the highest quality. After all, Cain said he's tried every kind of sex, but he hasn't ever been to an orgy hosted by the Devil.</p><p>One look into Lucifer's penthouse upon arriving is enough. He peeks again, memorizing the bodies of the men and women clearly ready to service him in every way.</p><p>"No," says Cain, and he closes the elevator doors. </p><p>Lucifer runs down the stairs to the first floor of Lux to catch Cain before he leaves. </p><p>"Why flee temptation?" asks Lucifer as the elevator door opens and Cain steps out. </p><p>"You said you would kill me, not party with me," Cain says plainly before pushing past Lucifer. </p><p>"Technically, that's not true," says Lucifer. "I said I would end your misery, and I think we're on the right track. There's something to be said for mindless drugs and sex."</p><p>"I bet," says Cain. Lucifer sees in his face that Cain hasn't tried everything.</p><p>"You haven't done sex drugs before, have you?"</p><p>"I don't need help to keep it up," says Cain. </p><p>"I certainly hope not. No, I meant ecstasy. You could take an endless supply and never succumb to poisoning or any long term effects. Think about it. We're the only people on the planet at the moment who can eat molly like potato chips and never O.D."</p><p>"What about Superman. Aren't Kryptonians immune?"</p><p>"I don't know but we'll have to test that out. I know his husband, perhaps we should give Lexie a call."</p><p>Cain scoffs. </p><p>"Do whatever you want. I won't be attending."</p><p>"But Marcus, you've never had sex at super speed. Maybe this is a way to end your misery."</p><p>"It will get old eventually."</p><p>"Come now, Marcus —"</p><p>"— You wish. See ya, Lucifer."</p><p>As Cain walks away and exits the club, Lucifer decides then and there that he's going to end Cain's misery with enjoyment rather than death. It's entirely possible that Cain is confused about what he really wants because against his protestations, he really hasn't tried everything. And the best way to keep Cain interested in him is to keep up the charade of helping him to die.</p><p>With a sigh, Lucifer returns to the elevator. The orgy upstairs won't run itself.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>The next day, Lucifer calls Marcus to meet him at the penthouse again. By then, Lucifer has already fucked and sucked the orgy-goers silly and sent them packing. The penthouse is cleaned up and only the inflatable pool is still up, surprisingly clean, but if Lucifer is going to keep the façade of trying to kill Cain, he might as well do it over the plastic pool to keep blood from getting all over the floor. There's a lot of blood in the human body, and if they can catch most of it in the pool, then there's a smaller chance of getting it all over the Italian leather.</p><p>Lucifer could put plastic sheets everywhere to protect the furniture, but he doesn't want to seem unwelcoming. On that note, he dons his industrial protective mask and picks up his chainsaw, waiting for the elevator doors to open. </p><p>The elevator door dings.</p><p>Cain walks into the penthouse, his voice teeming with apprehension when he sees that there's no sex party going on and that Lucifer has another plan. </p><p>"Lucifer?"</p><p>He walks further into the room to find that Lucifer isn't anywhere to be plainly seen. He chalks it up to Lucifer being irresponsible. The distractible devil probably isn't even here.</p><p>"Lucifer!" he calls out, beginning to get frustrated. "Hello! Lucifer?"</p><p>A chainsaw revs from behind him in the master bedroom, and Cain's apprehension falls away as his hopes drop into nothingness. Stupid Lucifer. </p><p>Cain's face falls into a bored and unsympathetic expression as he turns to face the man he's entrusting his death to.</p><p>He waits for Lucifer to finish showing off his chainsaw and lower it, pulling his protective mask up and grinning at Cain. </p><p>"If it were that easy to kill me, I would have been dead a long time ago."</p><p>"Very well," says Lucifer as he puts down the chainsaw. "But! Have you tried… Grenade down the throat?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Acid bath?"</p><p>"Mmm-hmmm."</p><p>"God… Devoured by wolves?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Lucifer's beginning to get anxious, his frustration clear in his raising voice. "Dropped into helicopter blades?"</p><p>"Mmm-hmmm."</p><p>Lucifer deflates.</p><p>Cain crosses his arms but looks at Lucifer with slight amusement. "I've been trying to kill myself since the Bronze Age. I have tried everything! Even jumped into a volcano once."</p><p>Lucifer's eyebrows raise and twist in shock and sympathy. "Wait, you survived molten lava?"</p><p>"Yeah," says Cain with an inward cringe. "It was a rough six months… Just, whatever I do, I just regrow."</p><p>"Like a blue-eyed, square-jawed tapeworm… So if I cut you exactly in half, would there be two Pierces?" Lucifer is genuinely intrigued at this point.</p><p>"No," says Cain. "Only one side would heal. You see, I call it the master molecule theory—" Cain is genuinely proud of his academic prowess and glad to share it with his new friend, before he gets cut off.</p><p>"—Yes, yes, Wolverine rules," says Lucifer quickly, clearly bored with Cain's theory already. "I get it."</p><p>Cain frowns dejectedly as Lucifer walks past him to a cabinet.</p><p>"But there must be some method that works."</p><p>"Lucifer, why do you care so much about this?" asks Cain, a shred of hope in his tone.</p><p>"Because my father laid a curse on you to live forever, so killing you would be an epic loogie in the old man's eye."</p><p>Cain saw that coming, he had just hoped that Lucifer was doing this for him. "Well, you are the Devil," says Cain. "You must have something shockingly evil up your sleeve."</p><p>Lucifer finds what he was looking for in the cabinet just as Cain turns away to look into the distance, lost in thought, still trying to conceive a way to die.</p><p>"Hmm, you mean, uh, <i>something like this?!!</i>" Lucifer says, yelling at the end as he throws one of Mazikeen's demon blades at Cain, catching him in the back, piercing his left kidney.</p><p>"Ah! <i>Ouch!</i> ...Thanks."</p><p>"You're most welcome," says Lucifer, proud that this method might actually give the man what he desires. If it doesn't, that leaves him here on Earth to be with Lucifer. Either way, they get what they want. It's a win-win. "'Cause that little bad boy was forged in the bowels of Hell."</p><p>Cain grunts as he pulls the blade from his back, taking a second before he realizes it's curved and adjusting his pull on it to accommodate the shape.</p><p>Lucifer is still sure that the method is working. "Oh, yes. Demon steel. Can kill even me. So, time to say goodbye to Hollywood, Pierce."</p><p>Cain, still panting in pain hands the blade to his would-be killer and walks towards the elevator, disappointed. "Goodbye, Lucifer."</p><p>Lucifer turns to follow the immortal with his eyes. "No, I– I don't understand. How does this not work?"</p><p>"I should've known that you wouldn't be able to figure this out," says Cain as he opens the elevator doors and steps inside.</p><p>Lucifer returns to his upbeat and chipper self, sure that his charm will be an infectious means to keeping Cain interested. "Well, at least we've got all the time in the world to do so!"</p><p>Still holding his bleeding back, Cain turns to him with a sad look on his face. "For me, that's a bad thing!" he practically yells. The elevator doors close as Cain groans in pain, clutching his back harder and leaning over to dispel the dizziness of blood loss and mild shock.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>By the next day, Lucifer has decided, partly with Mazikeen's advice, to find out what makes Cain vulnerable. Whether or not he can kill him, this type of knowledge will come in handy. No point in giving up on an immortal that's easily killed by something otherwise innocuous. Maybe ginseng tea will kill him. There's no way to know until they try. And this exploration will allow him to get to know Cain better, giving them both the social and maybe even intimate contact they both need. The whole prospect is another win-win. </p><p>To this end, he arrives at the precinct early and arranges Cain's office in a manner that suits his purpose. His therapist so often brings out his vulnerabilities and the nuances of his personality. Surely with all the therapy he's had himself, he can do the same with Cain. It doesn't seem that hard.</p><p>To make it authentic, he wears glasses and maintains a neutral posture as Cain walks into his office. Cain is controlling his anger, but knowing Lucifer and his devious annoyance, that control won't last long.</p><p>"Why is my couch in the middle of my office?"</p><p>"Oh, good! You're here. Please, take a seat," says Lucifer, indicating the couch with an open hand. </p><p>Cain remains standing.</p><p>"How are you feeling today?" says Lucifer, maintaining his charm and soothing British voice.</p><p>"What are you doing?" asks Cain.</p><p>"Oh, answering a question with another question… That's called 'evasion'." Lucifer begins to write down notes in a notebook as Cain looks on in growing frustration.</p><p>Cain slams down his leather jacket on the couch and puts his hands on his hips, his own version of the 'Superman pose' with growing anger clear on his face.</p><p>Lucifer continues. "And your body language suggests you're quite upset."</p><p>"No," says Cain. "I'm just not a fan of your redecorating." He raises his eyebrows at the end hoping to make his point to Lucifer that he needs to put everything back as it was and stop playing therapist.</p><p>"That's awfully passive-aggressive of you, Pierce. Why don't you tell me how you really feel?"</p><p>Cain leans forward, narrowing his eyes. "Get out of my office!"</p><p>"Good, good! Anger. That's called a 'breakthrough'," says Lucifer, excited that the session is finally going somewhere. "Oh…" says Lucifer, turning to grab a box of tissues, "...Don't worry, this is a safe place."</p><p>When Cain continues to stare angrily at him as Lucifer tries to pass him the tissues, Lucifer tosses the tissue box at the larger man's chest, hoping he'll catch it.</p><p>The box bounces off Cain's muscular chest and falls to the floor with a thud as Cain remains motionless and fuming.</p><p>Lucifer looks disappointed, but Cain takes the reigns. "Why are you doing this?" Cain asks patiently as his thinly veiled hatred makes it to his facial expression.</p><p>"Well, how am I supposed to solve the mystery of how to kill you if I don't understand you first? Your strengths, your weaknesses, because everyone has a kryptonite, Lieutenant."</p><p>Understanding dawns on Cain and while the hatred in his face disappears, the frustration is clear as ever. He drops his arms to his side and turns away for a moment, picking up the tissue box.</p><p>"So, in other words, you still have no idea how to kill me."</p><p>"Wh– This <i>is</i> the idea."</p><p>Cain gently slams the tissue box against Lucifer's chest as he begins to respond. "I'm not a crier. I'm not a sharer. So, unless you have something that's case-related, we're done talking." Cain walks away, opening the door to his office before turning back to say, "And turn my desk around!" before walking through the door.</p><p>Lucifer is disappointed that Cain isn't willing to play ball with his ideas, but he didn't get to be the king of Hell by giving up easily.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>The next case is a doozy. Some poor woman was pushed into a wood chipper in a wholesome suburban neighborhood. After some digging, discovering the victim was actually a chemist cooking for the Korean mob, Lucifer worked his magic more than once, connecting the Detective with his drug dealer at Lux and then shaking down Brandon Hong (leader of the Korean Power, the drug dealing gang) with an irrefusable deal: the best formula for ecstasy in exchange for complete and utter police cooperation. A few years behind bars is nothing to him in exchange for tripled profits. </p><p>With Brandon Hong's testimony and some notes found in a fake phone, the Detective believes that the murderer was actually one of the neighbors. A note was written claiming that the writer knew what the victim was doing and said, 'End it, or you're dead.' Additionally, they found a baggie with home-made Adderall, which Lucifer quickly examined via olfactory ingestion when the Detective wasn't looking.</p><p>They take their findings to Cain immediately, ready to move onto the next part of the case. Cain takes them to his office where they can speak freely about the case. Lucifer is particularly happy about the plan they are to enact.</p><p>Cain, upon receiving the evidence and conclusions from the duo, says, "So you can take the girl out of the ecstasy biz, but you can't take the ecstasy biz out of the girl."</p><p>Lucifer nearly speaks over him to correct him. "Well, actually, it's not ecstasy. It's more sort of a home-brew Adderall. It's very smooth." Lucifer can't help the telling sniffle as he finishes his sentence.</p><p>Cain turns to Chloe. "Did your partner just admit to snorting evidence?"</p><p>Lucifer interjects just as Chloe is about to respond. "The only thing I admit to is being very focused on this case."</p><p>Chloe moves on, hoping they can just ignore Lucifer's drug-use and felony breach of protocol, as per usual. If they stopped to condemn Lucifer for every one of his trespasses, they'd never solve a case. "We think Sandra adjusted her product to her new environment. Type-A moms, high-pressure dads—"</p><p>"—And all the Ivy League-bound brats in between," Lucifer finishes. </p><p>"And if she was selling," says Chloe, "These death threats suggest that someone didn't want those drugs in the neighborhood. We think she was trying to determine who sent them."</p><p>Cain looks at her with realization. "Then maybe looking got her killed. All right. Get close to the neighbors. See who you can smoke out."</p><p>"Right," says Chloe. "I had the exact same idea. And there is a house for rent on Sandra's block. However, the owner will only rent to couples."</p><p>"Great," says Cain, not seeing the problem. "You and Lucifer are on it."</p><p>"No, I'd love to," says Chloe, "but I canvassed the entire neighborhood. They know I'm a cop. Dan, too."</p><p>Cain's losing his patience. The answer to this should be obvious so why is he having to walk these experienced employees through every step. "So find another officer with knowledge of this case to go undercover."</p><p>"Oh, don't worry," says Lucifer. "We already have." He grins devilishly at Cain, and Cain groans. He does <i>not</i> want to work directly with Lucifer on this case and he <i>really</i> doesn't want to go undercover with him.</p><p>Lucifer gets on one knee and holds out a gold wedding band. "Will you do me the honor of—"</p><p>"Finish that sentence and you'll be benched for a month," says Cain as he grabs the ring aggressively from Lucifer's outstretched hand. </p><p>Despite his dejection at the situation, he immediately puts the ring on.</p><p>Lucifer grins.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>By the next afternoon, Lucifer, posing as 'Luke', and Cain, posing as 'Marc', are moved into the new place and dressed in a very domestic metrosexual attire. Lucifer corners Cain for a kiss in the bedroom, but Cain dodges the affection and puts Lucifer in a headlock.</p><p>"Don't try that again, Luke."</p><p>"Oh, come now, Marcus, what's a marriage without a little fun?"</p><p>Cain has to admit holding the man to his chest gives him some fuzzy feelings and makes blood rush to his cock. <i>Maybe later…</i> he thinks.</p><p>"This isn't a real marriage," says Cain. "We're undercover."</p><p>"Whatever you say, Darling," says Lucifer as he gently moves Cain's arm and turns to face him. Lightning quick, he pecks Cain on the cheek and flees the room playfully as the doorbell rings. </p><p>Unamused, Cain slowly follows his 'husband' towards the front door.</p><p>The neighbors, Brian and Anya, have come over with a casserole dish filled with some sort of baked cheesy substance. Lucifer is full of flowery vocal tones as he thanks them for the 'casserole' and introduces Marc, laying his head on Cain's shoulder in a display of love and affection that for the sake of their covers, Cain can't shake off. </p><p>Lucifer is quick to invite the neighbors in for dinner and wine, though he breaks out three bottles of champagne and two of a nice rosé to keep the neighbors' pallets entertained as he and Cain prepare food to go with the 'casserole'. They do so quietly at first, Lucifer unsure of how to tell Cain he isn't contributing and Cain just wanting to avoid Lucifer's antics for the time being. It's when Cain pulls out the plastic plates that the silence breaks. </p><p>"Plastic plates? What are we, barbarians? Don't we have any china in there?"</p><p>Cain immediately gets defensive. "You know this isn't real, right?" He scoffs at Lucifer's surprised expression. He holds his hand up, indicating his ring. "You realize this is just for the case."</p><p>Lucifer holds up his hand to emphasize his own ring. "<i>This</i> is my chance to really get to know you. Pierce, I'm taking it seriously, and so should you, for our cause, and for the case, obviously." Lucifer hangs up his apron as he talks and turns to Cain who's putting the plastic plates back into the cabinet, grabbing out the ceramic ones instead. Lucifer continues, "So let's just get in there and put on a good show. Shall we? Oh, just don't give them your 'Resting Pierce Face'." </p><p>Cain seems to be unfamiliar with the concept of a resting bitch face. "What face?" he says, already using the face Lucifer is hoping to avoid. Unfortunately, as they bring the food to the dining room and set the table, Cain doesn't change his facial expression. Even when everyone is seated and the upbeat neighbors are making enthusiastic conversation, the face is still in place. Resting bitch Pierce for the win, apparently. </p><p>Lucifer interacts with the neighbors, matching their enthusiasm. "So," he says excitedly, "how did you two love birds meet?"</p><p>Anya answers first. "We were highschool sweethearts, actually. We were biology partners. He asked me out while we were dissecting a crayfish." Her perpetual sappy smile never leaves her face as if that sort of beginning was endearing. Lucifer smiles widely of course, laughing as she does and Brian interjects. </p><p>"My wife, huh? The stuff she remembers," Brian says, as if he didn't remember the incident.</p><p>Immediately, Anya's curiosity bubbles over and she asks gleefully, "How about you? How did you two meet?"</p><p>"At work—" starts Cain, but Lucifer corrects him.</p><p>"—Actually, we met through my dad."</p><p>Anya smiles, "Oh, that's so sweet!" she coos. </p><p>"Well not really," says Lucifer. "My dad's a right bastard."</p><p>"Oh," says Brian. "I get it. Tough, right? When parents don't approve?"</p><p>"It's true," says Lucifer. "True, and my father would definitely disapprove of this." Lucifer takes Cain's hand in his own sweetly and looks adoringly at Cain. "Isn't that right, Marky Marc?"</p><p>"Well, let's not start with that..." says Cain as he grabs Lucifer's hand dominantly, returning it to Lucifer's side of the dining table, removing it from his personal space in the process. He retracts his own hands and turns his attention to the guests. "...with these nice people, Luke."</p><p>Lucifer leans in near the guests, "I'm sorry, Marc loathes talking about himself," says Lucifer conspiratorially. In a quiet whisper, he adds, "He's shy!" Continuing in his normal speaking voice, he tells them, "But don't let that put you off. I mean we are neighbors now. Feel free to ask him– I mean, <i>us</i>, anything you want."</p><p>Cain quickly downs his champagne though his glass was well over half full. Lucifer begins serving the plates that had been neglected during the conversation, filling them with expertly prepared salads and sides and whatever hellish concoction the neighbors refer to as a casserole. Lucifer keeps in mind that he should ask for the recipe in case his subjects in the underworld can make use of it. </p><p>Cain continues to down the champaign like water, barely able to take Lucifer's behavior at the table. He's being so domestic and affectionate with Cain while being chipper and charming with their guests. It makes Cain sick, not because he dislikes Lucifer's affection, but because A) he knows Lucifer is faking it for the case, and B) because he's embarrassing the shit out of Cain. Cain knows Lucifer is doing it on purpose. </p><p>Cain has bowed away from physical affection for centuries, preferring to avoid attachment. He knows anyone he gets attached to will eventually leave him, dying long before he will. Lucifer won't. He knows this. It's the only reason he wants to genuinely hold Lucifer's hand and the underlying reason he detests Lucifer's fake affections at the dinner table. If Lucifer really cared, it would be a comfort, but Cain knows Lucifer only cares about the case they're on and defying his father. </p><p>Cain barely maintains himself while dinner goes on, and when Lucifer has cleared the dinner plates from the table and Cain has set the table with dessert plates, Lucifer offers their guests a plate of Milano cookies.</p><p>Brian reaches for one before stopping himself. "Oh, there aren't nuts in there are there? I blow up like a balloon."</p><p>"Of course, allergies," says Lucifer.</p><p>"Yeah," says Brian.</p><p>"I didn't think of that," says Lucifer. "What makes us vulnerable is often right under our noses."</p><p>Cain heaves an annoyed sigh, seeing where this is going.</p><p>"Shellfish, maybe?" says Lucifer, looking intently at Cain. "Bees? Latex?"</p><p>"Oh you know I don't have any allergies, Sweetie," says Cain, sounding oddly formal and not at all endearing as he says 'Sweetie'. </p><p>"Let's talk about this lovely community," says Cain to their guests. "You seem so tight knit." From there, conversation is all about the case and fortunately, they get a lead. Someone has been terrorizing the neighbors with threatening notes, complaining about everything from untrimmed hedges to excessive noise and holiday decor. It's possible this 'neighborhood watchdog' has a link to the case. After all, the victim's fake phone contained a note. 'I know what you're doing. Stop it or you're dead.' Combined with the knowledge that she was dealing drugs, this neighborhood watchdog has become their lead suspect. The next step will be to flush them out. </p><p>They continue conversation pleasantly until Lucifer says, "Wouldn't you two like to know more about this little enigma?" taking Cain's hand again and looking at him sweetly.</p><p>Cain cuts him off as he says 'enigma'. "<i>Well</i>, this has been nice, but remember we have to get up early for that thing tomorrow morning?" he says as he looks at Lucifer pointedly.</p><p>Lucifer doesn't back down though and after a moment's hesitation says, "I've no idea what you're talking about, Darling," as he takes a bottle of rosé and fills Cain's wine glass again.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>After dinner when Lucifer and Cain escort their guests out and say their salutations, they return to the kitchen where Cain pulls out his radio and Lucifer quickly nabs it to converse with his partner.</p><p>"This watchdog weirdo seems promising," says Chloe over the radio. "And those notes sound just like the one we found in Sandra's stash."</p><p>Lucifer gets on the kitchen island and drinks from his flask. A little liquor with molly isn't going to ruin the night. He makes a note to offer some to Cain. "I just can't imagine someone being so obsessed with obeying the rules of suburbia," says Lucifer as Cain starts to leave the kitchen. "Where do you think you're going?!" he says to Cain. "I cooked, you clean. Remember?"</p><p>Cain stifles his distaste for Lucifer and his house rules but turns to go wash the dishes.</p><p>"Domesticity can have a strange effect on people," says Chloe. "Question is now, how do we draw out this watchdog?"</p><p>Lucifer grins evilly.</p><p>"Well, don't you worry, Detective. Trust me. No one's a worse neighbor than the Devil."</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>Cain doesn't say anything when Lucifer climbs into his bed. There's only one master bedroom and though he wants to tell Lucifer to sleep somewhere else, preferably the couch (as a touch of symbolism), he doesn't.</p><p>Lucifer doesn't hesitate to wrap an arm affectionately around him, and still hoping deep down that the affection is real, Cain doesn't shrug away from him. "Well, Sweetheart, how do you fancy a romp?" says Lucifer. "You said you've tried every kind of sex, but I imagine your hole is as tight as a virgin's."</p><p>Cain grabs Lucifer and flips him over on the bed, holding him in a tight wrist lock with Lucifer's hand behind his back. "You'll never find out, <i>Darling</i>!" says Cain. "I'm in charge. You're the bottom, no arguing, no kissing, no using the 'L' word. <i>Got it?!</i>"</p><p>Lucifer grins into the pillow. "Yes, <i>Sir</i>," he says smoothly as he perks his bare ass upward. Cain takes the invitation rubbing his hard, thick ten inches between Lucifer's cheeks. He finds the entrance by feel alone and begins to enter the man he wants to love.</p><p>"Don't call me that.  ...Okay call me that sometimes, but only in bed and not right now." Cain pushes in with his uncut cock and licks the nape of Lucifer's neck.</p><p>"What should I call you then?" asks Lucifer as he begins to expertly roll his hips and make Cain moan. Cain shows a bit of his 'O' face, but Lucifer can't see it with his face being held in the pillow by Cain's strong hand.</p><p>"Use my name," Cain whispers seductively.</p><p>"Would you prefer 'Pierce' or 'Marcus'?" asks Lucifer, continuing to grin as he pushes against the pressure of Cain's cock.</p><p>"From you? I prefer my real name," whispers Cain shoving all the way to the hilt and making Lucifer gasp, giving a feral smile as he gives in to temptation.</p><p>"So be it, Cain. Why don't you show me what you've learned over the years," Lucifer whispers back, as he starts his gyrations again. </p><p>Cain fucks him hard, no mercy, no prep, just giving the Devil his due diligence and virility. Lucifer cries out in ecstasy as Cain ravages him, pummeling his tight hole with his raging cock, in and out in a steady pace while growling with pleasure as he prejizzes into Lucifer and feels up his lithe muscled torso. Their legs interlock for better leverage and Cain keeps Lucifer pinned. </p><p>They go on for hours and Cain eventually spills his hot seed into his desired paramour, pumping jism into Lucifer for a good ten minutes as they writhe in pleasure. </p><p>When he's filled Lucifer up with come and shot the last of his copious, salty load, he flips Lucifer over roughly, positioning himself between Lucifer's thighs and leaning forward, torso to torso as he easily slides back into that tight, warm ass. </p><p>Lucifer is grinning with an evil smile and Cain looks at him in wonder, awe written across his face as he slides back and forth inside him.</p><p>"I knew you were no slouch," says Lucifer before licking Cain's face seductively. </p><p>After the second lick, Cain turns his head, taking the tongue into his mouth, matching him tongue to tongue and kissing him passionately. They kiss for another hour as Cain fucks Lucifer with sweet passion and love in his heart. This is the man he wants to be with, and even if it isn't real, he'll take what he can get for now because he may never have this chance again. It's reckless, and he knows he's getting too attached but right now, in the moment, he just doesn't care. He'll take this little slice of heaven until tomorrow when he knows it will be over. He damns himself for kissing Lucifer and damns himself even more for caring. For Cain, this is real and he can pretend Lucifer feels the same way, at least until tomorrow when they will continue their charade. He hugs Lucifer tight to his chest as they make out and fuck, and after their third orgasm together, Cain pulls himself away. There's sadness in his face and a little disappointment that Lucifer cannot fathom why. </p><p>"We better get some rest," says Cain, forcing himself away from the fantasy they've created together. "Tomorrow's a big day."</p><p>"I think you mean today," says Lucifer slyly. "It's five in the morning."</p><p>"All the more reason we need to get some sleep," says Cain dominantly. He almost leans in for another kiss goodnight, but instead, rolls Lucifer over, spooning him and smelling his hair. "We're done."</p><p>Lucifer cuddles close, settling back into those strong arms thick with muscle and smiles with genuine joy. "That's what you think, Cain. It's not over 'til I say it's over."</p><p>Cain wants to argue, but he knows it's true. He's fallen into Lucifer's trap, his charm infecting Cain with hopes of what could be. He knows it's true: Lucifer holds the reigns and Cain can't take back the kissing or the words on the tip of his tongue. He hasn't said them, but there was no need. He feels them and it's enough to give Lucifer power over him. Cain nearly cries at the realization but just kisses the back of Lucifer's neck, holding onto the dream for just a little longer.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>They wake up around ten, and Cain misses the contact when Lucifer climbs out of bed. Lucifer decides not to make much noise yet, wanting to let Cain sleep in some more. The man is prone to grumpiness and Lucifer doesn't want to exacerbate that by waking him up too soon. </p><p>The first thing he does is shower and dress himself, but instead of his normal suit, he puts on an American flag themed speedo and a tight sleeveless matching shirt. Then he flies down to Hell to pick up a couple of party guests and brings them topside to participate in the festivities. Today isn't the usual party at Lux, but it requires attention getters, namely Saratonarii, a succubus of greatest talent and Lucifer's own little incubus, a son he had with Lilith named Azerion. Azerion knows how to party hard, but his talents may be too much for this wholesome neighborhood. His job will be to sit in an inflatable kiddie pool and look pretty. He can make a man orgasm from twenty feet away while awake and worlds away when asleep. Looking pretty will get plenty of attention and disturb the neighbors who will be questioning their sexualities. Saratonarii will be dancing and frolicking in the sprinkler with Lucifer. Her flawless body and seductive movements will be perfect for bothering the neighbors. </p><p>Next Lucifer has one of his DJs from the club come by with his equipment and speakers, and they are setting up in the garage with the door closed when Lucifer realizes someone is missing.</p><p>"Where's Azerion?" he says, face twisting in discomfort. "...oh, no…." He rushes out of the garage and upstairs to the master bedroom. Cain isn't in bed, but the shower is running in the bathroom and Cain's manly grunts are signalling near-orgasmic stimulation. Lucifer barges into the shower and kisses Cain as he comes into Azerion's throat. No chump is Cain, and he continues coming for several minutes as Azerion sucks hard and swallows. "Darling, that's my son you just face fucked."</p><p>"I know, he kisses like you.…" says Cain. "Don't pretend that makes it weird. You fucked both of my parents in the Garden of Eden. I know they tried to clean up the story for me and Abel, but that fruit metaphor wasn't fooling anybody."</p><p>"Does that mean you'll still want my little rugrat sucking your cock when we get married?"</p><p>Cain's face goes blank and his voice silent as he stares at Lucifer in shock. <i>Married?! ...that would be too good to be true. It's a shame I know he's just busting my balls.</i></p><p>"I'm not a rugrat, Dad," says Azerion from his spot on the tile floor. "Hell, I was born an adult, and I may not be as old as you and Daddy, but I'm still several millennia old." The pout on Azerion's face undermines his point. Adult, indeed, he looks like a fifteen year old with a muscled out, porn star bod.</p><p>"'Daddy'? Well, I suppose Cain does have a certain Daddy-esque quality. Was rather tempted to call him that myself."</p><p>"Don't you dare!" demands Cain. "I don't mind the kid calling me that – it's clear he's younger than us. You can just call me 'Cain' or 'Sir'."</p><p>"Very well. I suppose 'mi hijo, su hijo'. Sure you're not getting too attached?"</p><p>"Out. Let me finish my shower."</p><p>Azerion starts to get up, but Cain takes his shoulder and shoves him back down to his knees. "Not you."</p><p>Lucifer scoffs, dejection all over his face. Being rejected altogether was expected. Being rejected in favor of his son was most certainly not.</p><p>"Fine! I've got stuff to do anyway," says Lucifer. </p><p>Lucifer doesn't stomp downstairs but it's a near thing. He finds his stash in his overnight bag and snorts a powdery concoction of cocaine and Adderall. If he's going to spend all day and night being an annoying neighbor – nay, the <i>worst</i> neighbor – he's going to need his energy.</p><p>The DJ is finished setting up in the garage and the extra two female dancers have arrived, bodies as flawless as the succubus', and the garage door opens as the music pours into the street at top volume.</p><p>The sprinklers take no time at all to set up and soon the girls are frolicking and dancing in the spray with Lucifer adding some risqué dance moves of his own, dirty dancing with his companions as the DJ plays some sick beats.</p><p>Upstairs, Azerion realizes he's needed outside, but his new Dom is too preoccupied with him, laying him down on the bed to sensually massage his thin, muscled body as he lays on top of him and enters his conquest. Cain pumps in and out of him and kisses his neck. Lucifer can have the incubus back later. Right now, he belongs to Cain.</p><p><br/>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Go Get the Chainsaw</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cain, Lucifer and Chloe solve the case, bit that isn't the only thing that needs to be solved.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Spoilers for <i>Lucifer</i> Season 3 Episode 13.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>That night, Lucifer is going for the most noise complaints award. He's spent all day clipping roses from the bushes and pruning them into jagged eyesores, cranking the DJ's music up all the way as everyone dances, playing with water guns (a new joy for his son), and waving pleasantly to the neighbors, most of whom were covering their ears and scowling. </p><p>Of course the police won't respond to the noise complaints. They know it's part of Homicide's undercover work to flush out a killer, but Lucifer paid someone at the dispatch office to keep track of how many noise complaints they get. He wants an official certificate from the police department if not a trophy for his antics.</p><p>With this in mind, he stays up all night, snorting more cocaine and Adderall and sending the incubus and succubus to warm Cain's bed while he goes for more noise complaints. Hours later, he's using a power sander on a trumpet when Cain finally comes down to tell him to shut the Hell up.</p><p>"Lucifer! What, are you building something?"</p><p>Lucifer stops assaulting the trumpet and turns to Cain, scrumptiously dressed in a hoodie and pajama pants.</p><p>"Yes. Our reputation as the most annoying neighbors on the block," says Lucifer as if the answer is obvious, letting out a chuckle.</p><p>Cain picks up the extension cords and unplugs them from each other, making the power sander go dead. His face speaks of bored disappointment. At this point he's past frustration. </p><p>"It's four A.M.," says Cain. "Maybe we can finish this in the morning."</p><p>"'We'? You're barely involved. Do you know, I thought this was supposed to be about you and I spending time together."</p><p>"No. No, no. This is about catching a killer."</p><p>"You just need to open up to me."</p><p>"That won't solve anything!"</p><p>"Everyone's got an Achilles' heel, we just need to find yours."</p><p>Only then do they realize Chloe's been trying to contact them on the radio, but at this point, the only thing they hear her say is, "Guys? Damn it!" With such a vague exclamation, they turn back to their argument.</p><p>Chloe gets out of the car to approach the hooded figure making his way towards Cain and Lucifer's house. As she gets closer to the open garage, she can hear Cain and Lucifer arguing. </p><p>"We've been through this!" says Cain.</p><p>"I feel like I don't even know you!" says Lucifer.</p><p>"What are you talking about?" demands Cain. </p><p>Then the hooded figure, almost to the house, starts moving faster. Chloe pulls her gun and says, "L.A.P.D.! Don't move!"</p><p>At the alert, Cain and Lucifer come running out to the sidewalk where the suspect is running. He stops when he sees that Cain and Lucifer are in front of him and the cop with the gun is behind him.</p><p>"Oh! Hello!" says Lucifer in a smooth tone. "Come for your casserole dish, have you?" </p><p>"Hands up!" says Chloe. The figure is the neighbor, Brian. He does indeed put his hands up.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>In the interrogation room, Brian denies wanting to hurt June, the victim of the murder. He says that he's doing the police a favor by holding people up to the community standards and furthermore, admits to buying June's home-brew Adderall.</p><p>He does pause a moment when he sees the note left for June by the suspected murderer, but immediately complains about the handwriting.</p><p>"No! That's not even my handwriting… Look at it, it's so sloppy. Of course, what do you expect from someone clueless enough to put a whole body into a wood chipper? I mean, <i>saw before you mulch</i>. Everyone knows that."</p><p>Chloe puts her hands on her face in an expression of muted horrified distaste. "Thanks," she says as she gets up and leaves the interrogation room. Outside, Cain and Lucifer are watching and Lucifer sighs. </p><p>"Now <i>he</i> would know not to put onion skins down the garbage disposal."</p><p>Cain turns to him angrily. "Why <i>wouldn't</i> I put onion skins down the garbage disposal? They're <i>garbage</i>!" </p><p>"They're compost," Lucifer says reasonably.</p><p>Cain takes the ring from his hand and holds it up dramatically. "You know what? Thank God this marriage is over!" He slams the ring into Lucifer's hand just as Chloe enters the observation room. </p><p>"Guys," she says excitedly. "Brian's not our killer. But your cover is still intact and I have a new plan. You lovebirds ready to go back to suburbia?"</p><p>Cain frowns as Lucifer grins in an evil smile. "'Til death do us part, Darling," he says, holding Cain's wedding ring out for him to take. Again, Cain quickly places the ring on his finger, a telltale sign to Lucifer that he isn't as against marrying him as he pretends. Lucifer just can't wait to propose for real. It has to be something epic, yet elegant. It will take some time to decide.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>Moving back into the house is nostalgic despite having spent less than a week there. Lucifer brings Azerion with him to stay in the house and guard Chloe. They're setting up for the backyard barbeque and adjusting the hidden cameras to monitor the guests and the guest book which Lucifer and Cain will try to get everyone to sign. If they can match the signatures to the note, they'll find the killer.</p><p>The barbeque is soon in full swing, guests having fun eating and socializing in the spacious backyard and Lucifer trying to make sure everything is just right. If there's one thing he knows it's how to punish the guilty. If there's another thing he knows, it's partying. Even a less-than-clandestine barbeque needs a devil's touch if Lucifer is hosting it.</p><p>"Umm… Why is that hummus so far away from the crudités?" Lucifer asks Cain, a hint of nagging in his voice.</p><p>"H-What?" says Cain totally taken by surprise.</p><p>"Everyone knows you put the snacks next to the dipping sauce," Lucifer says, frustrated as he rearranges the snack table. "Why do I feel like I'm the only one putting any effort into anything?"</p><p>Cain snaps at him, "Probably because you make everything about you!"</p><p>"Me?" says Lucifer, raising his voice in irate offendedness. "In case you've forgotten, I am doing this for <i>you</i>!"</p><p>"Really?!" says Cain, clearly disbelieving.</p><p>A crowd begins to gather to witness the apparent lover's quarrel. To them it's about more than that. <i>I will find a way to end your infinite misery if it's the last thing I do.</i> Lucifer's promise that Cain thinks he'll back out on. The night of love and sex that Cain is afraid will never happen again. Cain is pissed because Lucifer may never give him what he's promised.</p><p>"<i>Yes! Really!!</i> And if you're not committed, then there's no point to us even being here!"</p><p>"The only reason I'm here is because I have to be!" says Cain leaning over to get in Lucifer's face. "Everything else is just an empty promise. You have no idea what you're doin'!"</p><p>"I beg your pardon!" says Lucifer quietly, </p><p>"You say you're a man of your word," says Cain looking into Lucifer's eyes with a hint of sadness, "but you're not."</p><p>That renders Lucifer speechless and guests look guiltily away, trying to pretend they weren't eavesdropping on the conversation. Lucifer is completely humiliated, more than he thought he even could be.</p><p>"Cannot believe you just said that," says Lucifer when he finally finds his words and he silently leaves the backyard to walk down the street.</p><p>Chloe turns to Azerion in the house. "You need to watch these monitors and warn Pierce with this radio if anything suspicious is happening, especially if there are any weapons. I'm going after Lucifer."</p><p>"You got it, Detective." says Azerion with a Roman salute. Chloe gives him a confused look for a second before remembering this is one of Lucifer's 'associates' and deciding to ignore the eccentricity.</p><p>She runs out of the house through the front door and hurries to catch up with Lucifer, who is shedding his vest as he power walks down the middle of the road. </p><p>"Lucifer!" Chloe whispers, trying not to draw attention as she hurries to his side. "Lucifer, what the hell were you guys doing back there? This is a sting, you can't just leave in the middle of it."</p><p>Lucifer turns to her for only a second. "I just can't be around him right now."</p><p>"Lucifer, sometimes when we go undercover, things get real and people get on each other's nerves. But here's the thing: you can't change your partner!"</p><p>"Tell me about it," says Lucifer, clearly holding in hurt along with frustration. Chloe walks in front of him and stops, facing him to keep him from going any further from the house.</p><p>"Okay. As hard as it is right now, I need you to stick it out until the job's done. Pierce is never gonna be the guy who cares about where the hummus is or whatever. But he does care about what matters. Like solving this case. He can't do it without you. He knows that."</p><p>"Does he?" asks a skeptical Devil.</p><p>"Yes," says Chloe, "He does. So please, get back in there and get those signatures."</p><p>"... Right."</p><p>They walk back towards the house separately and Chloe goes back in the front while Lucifer goes around back to rejoin the barbeque. The first thing he sees as he ducks behind a palm tree to straighten his vest is Cain rearranging the snack table again. Lucifer looks on in wonder and surprise and only confronts Cain when he sees the man inexplicably adjusting the flowery decorations on one of the trees. The expression on Cain's face is one of contentment and concentration.</p><p>"You moved the nachos," says Lucifer from several feet away.</p><p>Cain looks hopeful as he turns to see Lucifer. "Well, yeah. I didn't want anyone to spill salsa —" starts Cain.</p><p>"—into the macaroni," they say together.</p><p>They both look briefly at the table before making eye contact again, Lucifer stunned and Cain still hopeful. Cain takes a couple of steps towards Lucifer. "I wasn't sure you were coming back."</p><p>Lucifer steps forward and says intently, "I made you a promise. And I <i>am</i> a man of my word, no matter what you may think." Cain reads the message. Lucifer isn't just talking about the sting op. He's talking about his promise to end Cain's misery. Cain's dick throbs in his pants but not as hard as his heart throbs in his chest. Maybe their little fantasy night was more real than he gave it credit for. </p><p>"I may have overreacted," Cain says softly. "I'm sorry."</p><p>Lucifer's heartfelt reply is, "Thank you. But… you were right about one thing. I don't have all the answers. But I hope that we can find them <i>together</i>." Cain squints in the sun as he steps even closer and nods solemnly his agreement. Lucifer continues, "After all, you may be the only person on this planet who truly understands me." Lucifer takes a few steps forward, bringing them face to face. "I'm not ready to give up on that," he says as his eyes soften and his focus is drawn to Cain's plush lips. </p><p>They get distracted for a moment when they realize all their guests are crowded around them, saying "awww" and chuckling heartfully. A camera even clicks to capture the moment. </p><p>Not willing to waste the opportunity, Lucifer grabs Cain's face and kisses him passionately as the crowd cheers. Cain tries to reign in his end of the kiss but can't help but let his tongue slide against Lucifer's. </p><p>Chloe and Azerion are in the house looking at the video feed and Azerion whisper-yells, "Yes! Go, Dad!" as Chloe rushes to the window to get a better peek at the action. </p><p>"Wait! <i>Dad?!</i>" says Chloe, turning back to Azerion. </p><p>"Yeah, Lucifer's my father. Didn't you know?"</p><p>Chloe is speechless but decides to address one perception-altering incident at a time and turns back to the window to see Cain has embraced Lucifer and they're still kissing. She grabs the radio and clicks it on to say, "Wow! Cover officially restored. Okay. Now can we please check the book for signatures?"</p><p>Cain and Lucifer only kiss for a minute longer and continue to hold hands as they go to look at the guest book as if cooing over the messages in it. </p><p>Guests eat barbeque and chilli dogs and various kabobs, and children play with water guns and the inflatable kiddie pool and wooden slide fort. Soon, Lucifer is walking around with the guest book and getting messages and signatures from everyone who hasn't already signed, insisting on the commemoration.</p><p>Some of them, he decides to give advice to. "Would you mind working the word 'pervert' in there?" he says to one couple who doesn't know what to write. To another woman he says, "Could you address it to 'scheming whore'? Just a little private joke for Marky."</p><p>Soon Lucifer is handing Anya the pen and she tells him, "Brian said he signed for us both already."</p><p>"Well, Marc and I would like everyone to write a little message, if you don't mind."</p><p>"Oh, sure!" says Anya, but Brian runs up to her and tells her it's time for them to go, making no excuse, simply trying to convince his wife to leave with him. </p><p>It turns out Brian is trying to keep Anya's handwriting from being recognized and after an incident with Brian wielding hedge trimmers, Anya and Brian are arrested, him for obstructing justice and her for the murder of June. She thought he was having an affair with the drug dealer, not buying her drugs for weight loss. But after the explanation of what was really going on, Anya simply says, "I'm so sorry I doubted you!"</p><p>Lucifer leans in towards Cain. "At least there's some cold comfort in them being arrested together. At least they have each other."</p><p>"Yeah," says Cain. "<i>They</i> do." And Cain walks off, clearly upset. They just had a wonderful kiss, a wonderful barbeque and a solved case. What on Earth has Cain so upset?</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>Much later, back at the precinct, Chloe walks into Cain's office. "So I heard the divorce went through. What are you going to do with your half of Lux?"</p><p>"Very funny," says Cain with a good natured chuckle. </p><p>Chloe then invites him out for drinks, but he declines. She wants to go to the cops' bar and it's clear she wants it to be a low key date. Cain has only one person he wants to date and only one bar he wants to go to. The ring is still in his pocket and he feels it through the fabric as he declines her invitation. He knows it's only a matter of time before Lucifer invites him to the penthouse again. He's gonna go for it, and he's gonna wear the wedding band to show Lucifer that he's in this for the long haul. If he gets shot down that's okay. At least he tried. But trying to stay distant when he wants to get so close is going to kill him if he doesn't do something. Besides, he has Azerion to think about. Despite the pseudo-incest, he really does want to be the incubus's step-father. He has to try with Lucifer or he's always going to regret it.</p><p>He barely has time to get home after work before Lucifer calls him and invites him over. He puts the ring on his finger and heads towards Lux, wondering if he should play hard to get. Lucifer would certainly appreciate the challenge. And they have eternity to play cat and mouse. Maybe he'll just wear the ring and let things progress instead of starting off with telling him he wants to be married. As much as he wants to rush things, it's in both of their best interests to avoid pushing the subject.</p><p>He thinks of all of this as he rides on his motorcycle and parks in the Lux garage. When he gets up to the penthouse, he strides confidently from the elevator and taps into his frustrations to avoid feeling vulnerable as he walks out to the balcony where Lucifer is standing.</p><p>"Lucifer! This better be good! I was really looking forward to sleeping far away from you tonight."</p><p>"Oh, it is good. I finally got you figured out." Lucifer bears a confident smirk and a drink, probably whiskey, in a tumbler. An identical drink sits on the patio table on the balcony. Cain comes to stand beside him.</p><p>Cain scoffs. "Really?" he says skeptically.</p><p>"Mmm-hmmm. Yes. You're terrified of letting someone get close to you, 'cause you know they'll eventually leave you. You'll outlive them. You want to die because you don't want to be alone anymore."</p><p>Cain nods. "Yeah. Well, duh. What's your point?"</p><p>"If we're going to kill you, then we have got to do it <i>together</i>," Lucifer says as he passes Cain the drink from the table.</p><p>"Is that right?" says Cain.</p><p>"Mmm," says Lucifer, nodding confidently.</p><p>"You see, I don't think you've been spending time with me trying to figure out how to kill me. I think you want to spend time with someone who's been screwed by your dad as much as you've been. <i>You</i> are the one who doesn't want to be alone."</p><p>Lucifer gives him a calculating look, as if they're playing chess. They might as well be.</p><p>"Well, I suppose one might call us friends now." Cain nods assent to that. "And it is nice to have a friend who can relate. I get you."</p><p>"No, you don't," says Cain, morosely looking down. "You've been on the earth what? Five years? You'll see. It's hard not to get attached."</p><p>"Okay. Okay, so we both have some issues we need to work through, <i>but</i> if we're going to get revenge on Dad, we've got to be committed."</p><p>Cain shows his ring finger. "I've already married you. I'm not sure how much more committed I could be." Lucifer gives a sly smile.</p><p>"True. Very true. But there are so many things that we never got to try." Lucifer is laying on the charm thick, both of them unwilling to say what the other wants to hear, but both willing to continue their alliance and hope love develops from there.</p><p>"Fine," says Cain. "Go get the chainsaw."</p><p>Lucifer grins as he exhales. "Thought you'd never ask!"</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>The next day and several unsuccessful murder attempts later, Cain wakes up naked in Lucifer's bed with Lucifer cuddling one side and Azerion cuddling the other. </p><p>They're all covered in dried blood and the penthouse has splatters and puddles all over it.</p><p>Cain kisses Lucifer's head tenderly before doing the same to Azerion. Lucifer wakes up instantly at the contact and takes in the sight of his bloody bedroom. "Right. You two do your thing in the shower while I call a cleaning crew. I may have to replace some of the furniture but that's okay, I have reserves in the storage unit. Okay! Off you go, then."</p><p>Cain takes Azerion in his arms and lifts him to a sitting position as the boy rubs his eyes. "You ready, baby?" He asks the incubus. Azerion's Mediterranean features look heavenly in the morning light, despite him being an infernal. </p><p>"Yes, Daddy," says Azerion. He eagerly moves to get up but Cain lifts him in his arms and carries him bridal style to the shower. By the time they're finished, their clean clothes are laid out for them and Lucifer is joining them. </p><p>"Honey, why don't you meet us downstairs," says Lucifer to Azerion. "We might be a while."</p><p>"Fuck that, I'm ready for a quickie," says Cain. "I still have to go to work."</p><p>"Yes, Darling, I suppose a quickie will suffice," says Lucifer, smoothly as ever. "You sure you can't take the day off? Pawn your paperwork off on someone else?"</p><p>"I'll think about it," says Cain as he takes Lucifer's shoulders and pushes him down to his knees. </p><p>"You know, Sweetie, you're still wearing your ring. Aren't you going to take it off?"</p><p>"Maybe when you give me another," says Cain before he can stop himself. </p><p>Lucifer grins widely. "Nevermind, go to work today. I've got some shopping to do. Do you prefer white gold or yellow gold?"</p><p>Cain is stunned. Lucifer is taking this all in stride as if he really intends to propose. </p><p>"Red." says Cain. </p><p>"Perfect," says Lucifer, untameable glee emanating from his very being.</p><p>Azerion kisses each of his dads on the cheek and gets dressed to go downstairs.</p><p><br/>
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